Relationships are rarely easy, but when something happens that makes you start to lose trust in your partner, or if you entered the relationship with trust issues, you might wonder if you’ll ever be able to move on. .
Luckily, learning to trust again can be easier than you think, so if you’re wondering how to overcome trust issues in a relationship, keep reading for some helpful suggestions that may make your job easier.
If you’ve only been burned in a relationship once, it’s easy to carry it with you until the next relationship, but since no two relationships are the same, it might not be. not be such a good idea. Once someone hurts you and betrays your trust — and they can do it in different ways — it’s easy for you to assume that all future partners will do the same, but that’s rarely the case.
Every relationship is distinct from the last, but if you just can’t get over the idea that the next partner you have is going to betray your trust yet again, here are some things you can do to get over it and enjoy it. future relationships that are much more successful.
1. Decide what you want in a relationship.
Once you figure out what you want and don’t want in a relationship, you’ll feel more confident the next time you start seeing someone.
In fact, this is such a big suggestion that you might want to write these things down so they’re always available for you to look at. The more you feel you deserve these things in your life, the more empowered you will feel to pursue what you want. In fact, it’s great advice that anyone can follow, even those who don’t have trust issues.
2. Learn to forgive so you can heal
It doesn’t matter that many people who have hurt you don’t deserve your forgiveness, but forgive them anyway. The only way to heal from a past hurt is to forgive someone so you can move on. Does this mean that as soon as you forgive someone, you can completely and immediately trust your next partner? Of course not, but it takes you a little further than you were before.
The more you try to forgive, the faster the healing process, which means the sooner you will be able to trust again.
3. Refrain from monitoring the activities of your current partner
Just because your last partner texted his ex-girlfriend while he was seeing you doesn’t mean your current partner is doing the same. No matter how difficult it may be, don’t monitor his phone calls, texts, emails, or anything else that might provide you with the fodder you’re looking for.
That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t act on it if you have a strong feeling they’re doing something wrong, but choose to trust instead of doubt in the very beginning.
4. Try to build your own self-esteem
It’s often a sign of insecurity if you continually treat your partners like you can’t trust them. If you’re working to improve yourself, you won’t do it consistently.
Being overly paranoid and trusting no one is not the same as showing a bit of distrust after being betrayed or hurt, and working to feel better about yourself in your life can prevent you from becoming one of those. there. overly paranoid people that other people just don’t like.
5. Communicate openly with your partner about your feelings.
Telling your partner how you feel and why you feel that way could eliminate some of the distrust you might automatically feel at the start of a relationship. If you’re explaining that your last partner betrayed your trust and it’s hard for you to trust them again, that might be all you need to reassure yourself that it won’t happen again.
If your new partner is responding well, you might even feel a little silly for doubting their trust in the first place. Either way, it’s a good idea to discuss these feelings with the new person in your life.
6. Remember that trust must be earned
It’s also good to remember that in any relationship, trust has to be earned as it often doesn’t come naturally for many people. Indeed, when you are at the beginning of a relationship and you do not know this person well, it is normal not to trust him automatically. Over time, you will be able to tell if you can trust this person.
It’s also good to remember that it works both ways – he can test your reliability just like you test his. Give yourself time and keep in mind that trust always has to be earned.
7. Beware of self-fulfilling prophecy
A self-fulfilling process is when you expect only the worst to happen, and it eventually does. When you expect the worst from people, the worst is usually what you get in return. Your negativity can attract negative people who are more likely to disappoint you. Start thinking positively and consider that you can actually trust this new person in your life.
Once your attitude starts to improve, more positive people will come to you, and as a result, more trustworthy people will be there for you.
8. Manage your emotions to stay healthy
When you’ve been hurt and you expect it to happen again, you can be a big ball of emotions, and that’s never a good thing. You have to be able to manage these emotions in order to get through them.
You can talk to friends or even a therapist, spend time exploring and developing your hobbies and interests, take better care of yourself physically through meditation and deep breathing, or even spend time away from your partner. for a while so you can focus on yourself instead.
9. Realize it has nothing to do with you
You also need to be realistic about why you find it hard to trust someone. If your ex-partner cheated on you, for example, you need to remember that it has nothing to do with you.
A cheater usually cheats no matter how good their partner is, so the fact that a former partner cheated on you shouldn’t affect how you feel about yourself. Once you accept this as a fact, it can be much easier to move on and trust your new partner.
10. Explore what happened in your past
Often when people are suspicious of others, those feelings of distrust stem from something that happened during their childhood. If this is your case, even though a former partner betrayed your trust, it may take some time to relearn how to trust others.
If you need to see a therapist, that’s a great place to start, but just know that your feelings of mistrust began long before you developed a romantic relationship with anyone.
11. Determine if you have other related issues
Sometimes feelings of distrust are actually part of a larger problem, most often another psychological condition. Regardless of what happened to you in a previous relationship, feelings of distrust can be associated with conditions such as:
• Adjustment disorders
• Attachment issues
• Fear of being abandoned
• Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
You may also experience feelings of distrust when something traumatic happens to you physically or psychologically. For example, victims of assault and people who have lived through war may have trust issues, but again, as soon as you recognize it, you can do something to overcome it.
12. Look within yourself for answers.
Finally, if you can’t overcome feelings of distrust toward a new partner, think about what’s inside you for possible responses. For example, have you cheated on an ex-partner or thought about cheating? If you’ve ever considered an action that would cause someone to distrust you, you might subconsciously expect the same from others.
Digging deep into your heart and being honest with your own feelings and actions can go a long way in understanding why you don’t trust others. If this ends up being the case, you will definitely need to work on yourself before feeling confident in someone else in the future.
Understanding how to overcome trust issues in a relationship often requires you to focus on yourself first to find out why you feel this way in the first place.
Even a bad past relationship can also cause you to mistrust others, but there are things you can do to eventually overcome those feelings so you can learn to trust again. It’s easier than you think, but you should still give yourself time to build confidence again, because it’s never something that happens overnight.